Setting Boundaries and Facing Burnout
“Ha! Of course, I can fit you, your kids, and friends friend’s third cousin in for tomorrow night! Not like I have any plans!!!!”
You did it again. Crossed the boundary you said you wouldn’t cross. But this time it feels different. Lately, you’ve been hard on yourself. You said you were going to move your body more, snack less, go to sleep earlier, call your bestie, you haven’t had a date night, to take time for your family because even though we were all at home together for so long… it just hasn’t felt like you’ve had a really good bonding day in a while. You’ve been short with people, you’re feeling disorganized – and honestly, even though you’re doing what you love, you feel so alone.
You’ve been in a funk. And that’s okay.
Burnout and mental health are important topics especially this year. But let’s be real, a lot of us have been facing obstacles in our life. But just because the mass population is, doesn’t mean that the way you feel is less than the next person. It means that we as a community need to work to ensure that we are supporting each other and empowering each other to take time for ourselves.
So what are ways that we can build community? Ways we can help others? But also to help ourselves when we are feeling down or in a funk?
Please note that we are not doctors or medical professionals. We’ve taken some time to gather advice for yourself and your team. If you are facing more traumatic issues, please contact a medical professional in your area.
I’m feeling burned out. What should I do?
It’s important to recognize that life is about balance. But, you don’t just wake up one day and suddenly have a great work-life balance. It takes time, effort, and practice to find balance. Why? Because you’re now having to intentionally make new habits based on what you want to be a priority in life.
Remember, you’re empowering yourself to be your best self!
Burnout originates from the feelings of being overworked. Work isn’t just the sole contributor of burnout – lifestyle and personality can also be reasons you are feeling burnt out. For example, not allowing yourself to say no to things.
From here, you can take time to start setting boundaries or making intentional decisions to do the things you want to do. It’s also important to remember that boundaries are to be set with work, clients, friends, and family too. For boundaries to be respected by others, you need to respect them first.
If you work for someone else, be open with them about how you are feeling. It can be scary to be vulnerable and open, but transparency is so important when it comes to building a trusting relationship between you and your boss. But also remember to take a day off! Go on vacation and have some R&R. Trust me, you’ll come back feeling so much better.
Now if you’re the boss or you work for yourself, remember to give yourself grace. You’re wearing a ton of hats, plus probably taking on a lot of clients too. Be open with those who are close to you and how you’re feeling – you shouldn’t feel. And don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Burnout impacts everybody differently. So not every solution will help everyone the same.
Check-in with a pro! If you are feeling burned out and lost. It never hurts to seek out professional help. Having someone to talk to who isn’t a part of your daily life or routine can be SO beneficial.
My team is feeling burned out…
First recognize that burnout negatively impacts your entire team, as well as their mental health. You want your team to be able to come to you when they aren’t doing well for them. Having this trust allows for issues to be addressed promptly rather than stewing.
Meet with your team regularly, not just as a group but 1:1. This helps you to have a better pulse on how your team is feeling and recognize when things may not be so great for them. When your team is talking to you, especially on a topic that makes them feel vulnerable, be sure to be listening and empathize with them so that they feel supported.
Encourage your team to be open with each other. People often take on other people’s energy, off each other. It also helps to build a positive work culture, which is so important as toxic work cultures also lead to high employee burnout and turnover.
Lastly, encourage your team to take a break, not to work 24/7, and make time for their family, friends, and themself. Hearing that will make them feel supported that their work/life balance is important to you.
How to set boundaries…
You don’t have to accommodate anyone or everyone. It’s one thing to do your child’s hair on your day-off… but even then you don’t have to. The hardest part is sometimes just learning to say no and not feel like you have to be doing things all of the time.
It takes time to practice saying no, but you need to respect your time for others to respect it too.
This is why setting boundaries is critical. So if you’re struggling with setting boundaries at work, start by making the hours you work stated clearly where people can see before booking. Be transparent of what hours you are working. Be stern when your book is full and when you cannot take on new clients. Better yet have a booking software – that way clients can find an available time and then you’re not feeling the need to accommodate.
Here’s another tip! If you’re a scheduler – schedule time for you. If you feel like you need to sleep in for a bit and legitimately don’t have time permitting things to do – give yourself that 5 to 15 mins. Take a nap, make some food, try out a hobby. Life should be about doing the things that make you happy, but sometimes even those things can take a toll on it. Make time for you!
I hope this resonates with you well, and that if you’re in a funk, it will pass soon. You’re not alone, you’ve got this.